An Extremely Odd Conversation
by ThePokemonMage
Summary: Pikachu sees a blushing Zelda and Peach, talking about something. Curious, he asks them what they're talking about. And soon, the talk turns into a very weird one. Emphasis on the weird. (Rated T for crackiness, yaoi, and some sexual themes. WolfxFalco and another yaoi pairing...)


**A/N: Crack. Yaoi. WolfxFalco with an extra yaoi couple. Mentions of... sexual stuff. Don't like, don't read. Do like, do read. Review if you can.**

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Pikachu whistled as he entered the cafeteria, holding a bag of chips. He looked around, and saw Peach and Zelda. The two princesses were giggling, blushing, and Peach's nose seemed to be slightly bleeding...? Tilting his head, Pikachu decided to sit next to them, and figure out what the heck is going on.

"Hey girls!" He greeted warmly. The females jumped, and looked at him.

"Oh! H-Hello, Pikachu." Zelda replied.

"How are you doing?" Peach asked.

"Great! And... uh... Why is your nose bleeding?" Pikachu said.

"E-Eh?!" Peach cried, covering her nose, blushing even harder.

"What happened?" The Pokemon asked.

"N-Nothing." Zelda simply answered.

"Please tell me!" The mouse gave them cute, chibi eyes.

The two girls blinked, looking at him. They sighed, nodding.

"Do you wish to hear the long, fully-explained version or the short, yet sufficient version?" Zelda asked.

"Full version." Pikachu said.

"Alright... Well... It all started after Peach and I lost a match against Olimar and the Ice Climbers." Zelda started.

"How do you lose against them?" Pikachu questioned.

"Um... when the Ice Climbers did their Final Smash, we tried to stay on the stage but them and Olimar attacked us so we kinda fell off." Peach explained.

"Er, okay?" Pikachu accepted it, opening his bag of chips.

"And then they asked us if we could get volunteers for another match." Peach continued. "So we started to ask some smashers, but they said no..."

She started to trail off. Zelda picked up where she left off. "So, we were dwindling down to a few smashers. Meta Knight has a match against Lucario that should be happening now. Red didn't feel like battling. We then went to Wolf's room and... and..."

"And what?" Pikachu was itching to hear the end.

"Ow... Ow... P-Pain..." Falco groaned as he limped into the room, holding a water bottle. With that, the girls tell Pikachu that they will continue the story later, then jumped out of their seats and ran off. Falco titled his head at their actions, confused. Exhaling, he sat next to Pikachu.

"Jeez. What happened to you? You look like you've been hit by three Super Sonic's." Pikachu said.

"Tch. I wish." Falco muttered.

_Sweet! Another story! _Pikachu thought.

"So, mind telling me whan happened?" He asked.

Falco frowned. "In fact, I do mind. So, I'm sorry, I can't tell you."

"Please! What do you have to hide?" Pikachu said.

"A-A lot, a-actually!" Falco snapped, blushing a little bit.

Pikachu grinned. "Come on! Tell me! Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, TELL ME!"

"...No."

"Tell me, please! Please, please, please!"

"For fuck's sake, I said no!" Falco hissed.

"I have Thunder and I'm not afraid to use it!" Pikachu threatened.

Falco sighed. "Alright! Alright! I'll tell you!"

_Now... How do you lie about being the... b-bottom in a... r-relationship with one who is the same gender as you? _He thought.

"...I lost a match." He lied.

"Smooth." A voice drawled. The male smashers jumped. It was Samus. She was standing behind them.

"He lied to you." Samus said to the mouse.

"SAMUS, DON'T!" Peach and Zelda cried as they ran back into the cafeteria.

"...What the hell is going on?!" Pikachu shrieked.

"D-Do... Do you guys know?!" Falco hissed.

"NO!" Zelda and Peach shrieked.

"Yes. In fact, the two peeped on you and him, then I joined the two princesses to peep with them." Samus stated.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Falco felt like strangling someone.

"U-Uh, c-can I get some info, please?!" Pikachu cried, confused, freaking out.

"Well, the two ladies wanted to ask Wolf if he wanted to team up with someone to do a match against Olimar and the Ice Climbers." Samus explained. "So, they polietly knocked on his door and..."

The bounty hunter looked at the two princesses, motioning them to continue the story. Pikachu was on the edge of his seat, and Falco clearly looked like he wanted to massacre the whole Smash Mansion.

"And... well... He didn't answer and..." Peach said. "So, we knocked again, and... Heard some sounds and..."

"And then... we kinda got concerned, so we opened the door a little bit and..." Zelda couldn't finish. Both she and Peach were blushing madly.

"Well... I came along soon, and saw that both ladies were as red as tomatoes, so I peeked with them and..." Samus cleared her throat. "I guess you could say that... Us three saw..."

"Saw what?!" Pikachu jumped on the table. Falco groaned, feeling like he wanted to blow up the house.

"Something they shouldn't have seen." An angered voice growled. Everyone but Falco froze. The girls moved to side, revealing Wolf, sitting cross-legged on the table. When did he get here?! The door didn't make sound...

"Hey guys. Just felt like interrupting your _story time_." He said, frowning. "So... ladies... You saws, right?"

They nodded, smiling weakly.

"How much? How long? Tell me and I _may_ forgive you."

With that the girls ran off, their noses slightly bleeding.

"...What the fuck..." Pikachu was at a loss for words. "What the fuck just happened?!"

"You know of yaoi?" Wolf asked him. The mouse nodded. "Well, it exists. Everywhere. Including our world. Falco and I? We're a yaoi. Got it?"

Pikachu blinked. "That's it?"

"Well... Yeah." Falco said.

Pikachu sighed. "So, the girls identically peeped on your... yaoi... time?"

"Pretty much."

"...Okay."

"Well, you sure accepted that easily." Wolf said to Pikachu.

"Of course! We're buddies! I need to you support you!" The mouse said. "So... Just to be sure... Wolf is top, Falco is bottom?"

The two blushed, glaring at him. "What?!"

"...Am I right?" Pikachu tilted his head.

"...Uh, yeah?" The two replied, then something hit them. "Wait, how do you..."

"How do I know those terms? Well, I'm in a yaoi-like relationship." Pikachu stated, a bit proudly.

"...HOLD ON, WHAT?!" Wolf and Falco cried.

Pikachu grinned. He started to snicker. "Yup! Well... Later!"

He hopped off the table, and ran, laughing.

"...Wha..." The two StarFox characters were confused. Just then, Lucario walked in, possibly done with his match. He looked at the two, confused.

"Are you two alright?" He asked.

"P-Pikachu... I-In... Y-Yaoi... How... How... How is this possible?" Falco was clearly confused, more confused than Lucario.

"...What did you say?" The Aura Pokemon asked.

"Well, we just told your yellow friend about our relationship, and then he told us that he's in a similar relationship." Wolf explained.

Lucario sighed. "That idiot, I told him to wait for me if he ever wanted to tell some folk about it."

"...WAIT, WHAT?!"

"Er... Um... Yeah, I'm the one he is with."

And with that, the girls eavesdropping on the conversation fainted.

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**A/N: I just... I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck was I thinking when making this? Dear Arceus... But I am not really that sorry. So yeah. Crack fic is crack. WolfxFalco and LucarioxPikachu. By the way, who here saw that coming? You know, Pikachu telling about his relationship?**

**Pikachu: D8**

**Lucario:...**

**Wolf and Falco: They'll get used to it.**


End file.
